Some leadership gurus say that given the large list of competencies a leader would strive to develop, the hardest one is "personal learning." I agree. It's also, in my opinion, the most important. To me, it's all about self-awareness. Can I take the blinders off and hold the mirror up to my own face and tell the truth? Can I not only accept feedback, but also ask for it, knowing that it might be hard to hear. Can I take the feedback I get with grace and a stiff upper lip, say thank you, and then make a plan to change? And then, can I share my learning with someone and ask them to be an accountability partner and help me change?
That's a lot. And I can tell you with 100% certainty, that if you can do this, you too can be a great leader.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Motivation
I was in Las Vegas a few weeks ago for a family girls weekend. Wonderful connection time! We were walking the strip one night and there was a man with a microphone or megaphone standing on a street corner. He was casting judgment on all of us sinners - that we were going to burn in hell for ... hmmm... for something he seemed certain of but of which I'm certainly not sure!!!
Setting aside his theology (which I totally don't agree with!), and his judgment (he doesn't even know me!), I started thinking about his chosen method for "motivation."
Is his rhetoric motivational? Is he really going to get anyone to do anything differently? By casting judgment upon a sea of people for whom he has no knowledge? And if he DID know me, is he going to motivate my by threatening me - by attempting to instill fear in me? Is this a method acceptable to leaders? I don't think so - I hope not.
Motivation comes from being inspired by a vision, passion, a dream. Motivation comes to people who have respect and trust in the person doing the motivating.
Next time you think about motivating your "troops" - think in terms of lighting a fire within, rather than a fire under.... The former is much more successful than the latter.
Setting aside his theology (which I totally don't agree with!), and his judgment (he doesn't even know me!), I started thinking about his chosen method for "motivation."
Is his rhetoric motivational? Is he really going to get anyone to do anything differently? By casting judgment upon a sea of people for whom he has no knowledge? And if he DID know me, is he going to motivate my by threatening me - by attempting to instill fear in me? Is this a method acceptable to leaders? I don't think so - I hope not.
Motivation comes from being inspired by a vision, passion, a dream. Motivation comes to people who have respect and trust in the person doing the motivating.
Next time you think about motivating your "troops" - think in terms of lighting a fire within, rather than a fire under.... The former is much more successful than the latter.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Practice Makes Perfect
Malcom Gladwell, in his book Outliers, studies what factors are present that can predict success. One of them is 10,000 hours of practice. He studied successful people like Michael Jordan, The Beetles, orchestral masters, and more, and found that the one ingredient they all had in common was 10,000 of practice under their belt.
Leadership development is no different in my mind. Successful leaders practice - a lot. What does that look like? I think it looks like this: act, reflect and analyze, adjust, and act. At the end of important interactions, or at the end of every day or week, we reflect on what went well and not so well, and how we could have acted differently to get a better result. We analyze why we behaved the way we did - what was behind that action? What's my motive? Why didn't I step up? We role model or think through what the more successful behavior might look like, and we set it in our minds to try it that way the next time the situation comes up. Even better, we go back to the situation and try again. That might look like opening up a conversation again with something like, "Yesterday when we were talking, I realize I was bringing some baggage to the conversation that wasn't appropriate. I'm wondering if we can talk about that again." Or something similar.
Awareness is 75% of correction, in my opinion. When we become aware of who we are and WHY, then we start catching our less than perfect behavior and begin to be able to change it in the moment.
Awareness is also the hardest part of leadership development. Who really wants to face their dark side, live in their mistakes AGAIN, and then practice doing it over?
What do athletes do? They watch films. They get feedback from their coach and teammates. They analyze their every move. Then they hit the court, rink, or field again and go for the do-over.
Dale Carnegie, in his book How To Win Friends and Influence People, talks about his father who, at the end of every week, closed his office door and for hours painstakingly analyzed every interaction he had that week - positive and negative - what went well? What didn't? How can I do it differently? Then he decided how he was going to change his behavior for the coming week.
My most engaged clients bring situations to the coaching table, offering them up for painstaking analysis and reflection, all so that they can do it better the next time.
The wonderful thing is, life is full of do-over opportunities - many more than 10,000 hours worth!
Leadership development is no different in my mind. Successful leaders practice - a lot. What does that look like? I think it looks like this: act, reflect and analyze, adjust, and act. At the end of important interactions, or at the end of every day or week, we reflect on what went well and not so well, and how we could have acted differently to get a better result. We analyze why we behaved the way we did - what was behind that action? What's my motive? Why didn't I step up? We role model or think through what the more successful behavior might look like, and we set it in our minds to try it that way the next time the situation comes up. Even better, we go back to the situation and try again. That might look like opening up a conversation again with something like, "Yesterday when we were talking, I realize I was bringing some baggage to the conversation that wasn't appropriate. I'm wondering if we can talk about that again." Or something similar.
Awareness is 75% of correction, in my opinion. When we become aware of who we are and WHY, then we start catching our less than perfect behavior and begin to be able to change it in the moment.
Awareness is also the hardest part of leadership development. Who really wants to face their dark side, live in their mistakes AGAIN, and then practice doing it over?
What do athletes do? They watch films. They get feedback from their coach and teammates. They analyze their every move. Then they hit the court, rink, or field again and go for the do-over.
Dale Carnegie, in his book How To Win Friends and Influence People, talks about his father who, at the end of every week, closed his office door and for hours painstakingly analyzed every interaction he had that week - positive and negative - what went well? What didn't? How can I do it differently? Then he decided how he was going to change his behavior for the coming week.
My most engaged clients bring situations to the coaching table, offering them up for painstaking analysis and reflection, all so that they can do it better the next time.
The wonderful thing is, life is full of do-over opportunities - many more than 10,000 hours worth!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Unintended messages
When I was growing up, I noticed that my parents consistently were praising my siblings, and not me. What I didn't notice is that they were only praising them when they weren't in the room. When I was 18 or so, a family friend said to me, "You don't know this, but every time you're not in the room, your Dad is bragging about you." News to me! As I reflect on that, I figure my dad didn't want any of us to "get a big head" so he was careful to only praise when we weren't within earshot.
A colleague was describing to me his fight with his son who hadn't done as well this period in school as he could have. In the end, as he asks his son for explanation, his son said, "Dad I don't know what you're so upset about. You told me I needed to have a cumulative GPA of 3.2 and that's what I did."
Messages, verbal or non-verbal (!), lose something in the translation. From my mouth to the others' ear, what message did they hear, vs. what I had intended? If the message is important, it stands to reason that it's also important to carefully craft it, and then perhaps check that it was received as intended.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Discovering Gifts
I receive daily devotions from Luther Seminary. Today's was from 1 Corinthians 12, on spiritual gifts. The NLT translation reads, starting with verse 7: A spiritual gift is given to each of us so that we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing...
After sharing many more spiritual gifts, the chapter goes on to talk about how we all, together, make up one body, and God has put each part just where he wants it. (verse 18)
As leaders, is it not our duty, then, to use all the parts just as God wants them used? We are called to discover our gifts, and the gifts of our teammates, so we can put them to full use.
Romans 12 (which, in my mind, is a recipe for strong leadership) implores us to be honest in our evaluation of ourselves (verse 3). Being honest about our own gifts and challenges is the foundation of being able to understand the gifts of others. I guess I haven't known a leader who could be keenly aware of the gifts of others but unaware of her own.
So, if you want a highly productive team that works well together (and then, by the way, has fun doing it!), start by being completely honest with yourself about your gifts and challenges. Then, start seeing your teammates through the lens of all the potential God gave them.
After sharing many more spiritual gifts, the chapter goes on to talk about how we all, together, make up one body, and God has put each part just where he wants it. (verse 18)
As leaders, is it not our duty, then, to use all the parts just as God wants them used? We are called to discover our gifts, and the gifts of our teammates, so we can put them to full use.
Romans 12 (which, in my mind, is a recipe for strong leadership) implores us to be honest in our evaluation of ourselves (verse 3). Being honest about our own gifts and challenges is the foundation of being able to understand the gifts of others. I guess I haven't known a leader who could be keenly aware of the gifts of others but unaware of her own.
So, if you want a highly productive team that works well together (and then, by the way, has fun doing it!), start by being completely honest with yourself about your gifts and challenges. Then, start seeing your teammates through the lens of all the potential God gave them.
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